Unload.

Tonight we started a new series at church entitled "Courage". This is a big one for me. I like to think that I'm a brave person. But the truth is, I'm only brave when I'm in my comfort zone. When I know my friends will still love me even if I screw up. When I know I'll still be accepted. But when I'm outside of my comfort zone, I'm such a coward. I don't like meeting new people, and I don't like those painfully awkward, forced conversations. My Cultural Anthropology class has been talking about loving people that are different from us. Christ call us to love others. But we can't truly love them unless we first build a relationship with them. That requires courage. And that scares me. What if they think I'm a wacko? What if they hate me? These are the questions that ran through my mind as I tried to be a little more courageous tonight. I tried to step up and step out. No one thought I was a wacko, and no one hated me, and I TRIED. God just wants us to try. He doesn't label us as failures if we are rejected. He just wants us to keep trying, because eventually we will make an impact. I'm going to try and go a little out of my way this week to be courageous. Will you?
My second thought for this evening is "time". I either have too much time, or not enough. And when I need time, I don't have it, and when I don't need it, I get even more of it. September was just stupid busy for me. There were four days that month that I wasn't doing anything other than school. I hate that I try and rush through one thing so I can mark it off my list and move on the the next thing. Last month just flew by, and I know I didn't savor it in the way that I should have. I'm turning 16 on November 1, and I'm so excited, but I'm also a little scared. When did I grow up? When did driving go from five years away to less than a month? I remember talking with my best friend about "when we get to high school". Now I'm already a sophomore. Next year I'll have to take the ACT and start looking at colleges. I'm excited about getting older and reaching new milestones, but it's a lot to swallow. I'll have to  get a job, I'll be going to school, I'll be involved in church, and will I have enough time for it all? I pray I will. I don't want to get sucked up in everything and start skipping out on church. It is such a necessary time for me to unload all my "junk" from the week and renew my spirit.

Lastly, let's talk school for a little bit, eh? The school fairy has disappeared this year, and the school demon showed up. Algebra 2 was giving me enough problems, and then my Personal Finance teacher decided I wasn't getting enough math in my life, so I should "reconcile with the bank". Good grief, people. I tried for hours on end to try and get this woman's checkbook to balance with her back statement. Eventually, I realized if I factored in the one number he told us to ignore, it all balanced out. Yay for teachers who lie. Then, my A&P teacher decided that we should read Module 2 this week, and have a quiz over it next week. I am not the kind of person who can just read something and remember it. I have to go in depth and understand it, and then I can remember it. But memorizing thirty pages in a week is killing me. I know this is probably "normal" for all you public school crazies, but I think this is ridiculous. How are we supposed to learn if stuff is just constantly being thrown at us and we are expected to remember it. Call me crazy, but doesn't this seem unproductive to you?

Well I suppose I've rambled on long enough. Enjoy the rest of your week fellow bloggers!